Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My vagina is very pro this idea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize