I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
