Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
