Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
