we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
