i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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