using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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