This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
