Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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