I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
