question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
