forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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