dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
