I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Farmville is her only friend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
