Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
