There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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