i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize