Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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