i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
