Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
