Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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