i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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