Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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