Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize