I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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