Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
