did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
