the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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