Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
