I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Quick, to the slutcave!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
