Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
