i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
