i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
