Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
