He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
