The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
