Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what day is it and did you see me today?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
