How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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