You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
