apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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