Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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