we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
