This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
