she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
