she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
