sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
