'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
too bad you live with your parents still
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize