Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
