Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
