Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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