We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Be still, my beating vagina.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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