Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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