I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ladies don't puke and tell
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
