So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
