I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
