I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
