he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
