I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
