READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
