i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
