quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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