...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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