This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
