You can't motorboat a personality
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
