dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
they need to just BURY HIM!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize